I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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