I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
