SEEEEXXX PLEASE
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
