What a fucking waste of an outfit
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
i came on her dog
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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