Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
