But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
