When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
