this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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