his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
