Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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