I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
