why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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