If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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