I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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