I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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