I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
