hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
