dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
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