They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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