soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
