Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
