Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
