I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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