16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
How naked do you want me to be?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
