But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
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