I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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