dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
