I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
