So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I cut my penus on the lid.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
