He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
