She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize