He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
