My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
