The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
