Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
