you would pick up someone in the library
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
