My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
