hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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