i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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