sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Randomize
