I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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