No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
