# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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