I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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