i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
