My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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