Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
ttyl tear gas
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Randomize