Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
