Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
