Porn is love you can see.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
