The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
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