So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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