Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize