"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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