what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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