and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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