better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I still have a little drunk in my system
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
