i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
