I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize