this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
