You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
