my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
